It seems to me that to foster change and progression towards ‘decolonisation’, ‘EDI’, ‘change making’ in real world terms, reducing the ‘attainment gap’, not just words in a document, powerpoint presentation, course material, university ‘policy’, government legislation, etc, I must start with making change by having difficult, uncomfortable conversations with my white, black and brown counterparts. To have discussions about racism, to experience more ‘silences’ with colleagues, students, peers who may be in a more privileged position than myself as a black academic, and that of brown and black students, in order to encourage thought and consideration of others’ backgrounds, experiences, knowledge and approaches outside of what is deemed ‘the mainstream’, dominant, white, middle class, neuro-typical experience. Perhaps it is like taking a nice slurp of wholesome soup, that in the mouth, feels more like indigestible bones and sinews that one might not want to swallow.

I had the opportunity to address this during a discussion with two white peers after a micro teach session. Peer 1 was relaying her experience of a student who ‘didn’t speak’, expressing her frustration at the international students’ lack of communication and willingness to engage. This sparked my interest. The conversation, inevitably, moved on to issues around race and minorities. Later that day Peer 1 messaged me and asked for a reminder of the term ‘wilful ignorance’ that I had used during our conversation, which I was happy to provide. While it was an uncomfortable conversation, in which I, again, experienced the silence, it felt good that Peer 1 felt she could reach out to me to presumably communicate her own experience of ‘wilful ignorance’.

I want to continue to have difficult conversations, to make even small changes to the white mainstream comfort zone and perspective of mashed potato and gravy.